The day crept in and then the reminder arrived. Three years ago today I was released from the legal confines of marriage. I won’t say it has been an easy journey, in fact, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and one of the most painful experiences I have had to endure. In ways, it still is. Grief from demise and emotional trauma aren’t things you just forget about, you just learn to carry them differently, especially when it’s something you do for more than just yourself. Yet there’s lessons in hardship and beauty in transformation.
I have learned so much about myself in the past four years… lessons of trust, loyalty (or lack thereof) and even amongst the rubble of a destroyed home I managed to find my capacity to endure, love and overcome. To allow myself to be cared for. A better version of the woman I am and continue to become. A cluster of gemstone hidden in the mud that needed to come to the surface and a lot of polishing. Just because we heal from things doesn’t mean that we’re not allowed to have emotions about them – and I have a vast array, no doubt. They’re mostly reflective and a lot less disappointment than I used to carry.
The calm that arrives after the storm is worth sailing enraged seas. Sure, there will be casualties along the way, but the journey continues because sometimes we elect to change the course for the life we deserve, instead of settling for the one we had. And that arrival is so worth it. This path is peacefully lush. Romantic, living & breathing poetry. I am so glad that choosing the harder path at the fork in the road led to this upgraded version of life. The skies parted and there is so much more light.