Euphoria Sunday with Them.

New ephemeral accoutrements ~ and the hands I know they’ll end up in.

When people come back and thank me for the introduction to their new favorite thing(s).

Difficult conversations that flow from a place of vulnerability, honesty, care and locked limbs.

Being referred to as exquisite and rare.

Arranging my own Valentine’s roses cause love is more than just for others. I’m giving it to myself too.

When you catch those old demons trying to surface and bait me – and actively choosing to not be the version of myself I outgrew a long time ago.

The way He laughs and calls me “Ms. Garcia”

When I took that long ass paragraph I hastily wrote, erased it and sent one line. Because I am better than that.

Saying what I feel, mean and doing so without fear or hesitation.

Receiving a photo of a gift I gave a past love and observing that even now, decades later, there is a still a piece of me that harbors that wide eyed, romantic innocence.

When you discover another layer of commonality and something special in the least expected places. Sometimes in something as simple as a shared love of baked goods.

Sunday morning chisme session phone calls with friends over coffee.

The secondhand excitement when others in your life get a taste of joy.

Learning to be ok with uncertainty and not needing to know everything.

When you can feel the smile that the mask is concealing.

When you’re reminded how small the world can be by chance and coincidence.

Laughter clad Mario Kart battles.

When the new mantra is “you don’t owe them shit”

Breaking patterns I was conditioned to accept as normal when they sure as fuck weren’t.

Shared understandings, deepened connections and new rituals.

Earnest exchanges in the form of words of adoration.

Repotting my plants on the kitchen floor without a care of how dirty it got me.

Strolling in an empty, flower clad garden center with nothing but my music in my ears.

Scoring a free soft serve cone that was consumed in the open trunk of my car as I fed the parking lot crows.

Feeling peace even when you have to make rights that feel wrong and knowing you’re right in them.

Huddling over the one menu to decide what we’re going to order.

The Friendly.

When the growth is palpable… and I’m reminded just how far I have come despite the unspeakable grossness I’ve had to endure.

Daydreaming about plots to new and far away places… and what it will be like when we share the same set of stars.

Drawing boundaries like swords in battle because I will not tolerate unkind, uncalled for and disappointing behavior.. from anyone. That’s what worth feels and looks like and I deserve better.

How goddamn proud my kid makes me. Every day.

Taking the baby steps towards being better no matter how hard a step it is to take because life is such a gift and I need to let it expand in my lungs.

Picking out paint swatch colors for my room.

Knowing the cord is still wrapped around His wrist.

Making wishes on the same shooting star.

Black cat snores and the claws that hang on to me.

 

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