coming up for air

(excuse the repost. my host did some work, site went down and my last entry got eaten alive)

It feels like it has been eons since I was last in this window typing up the goings on. Let me begin by apologizing for my absence, my lack of comments, birthday wishes, phone calls…. all of it. I have been trying to catch up on posts, and what little I read on facebook but I know I am missing something. I am sure someone out there is saying I am an asshole for being withdrawn but truth be told, I have been seriously overwhelmed and this little square of butter has been spread on a loaf.

The family took off to NYC this morning and we opted to stay behind. I would love to do NYC with Bee but adding my parents and 3 children to the mix and well, it can take a lot of the fun out of it. I think we all needed the change in dynamic anyway.

Things here have been good. Absolutely crazy, but good. The kids are either on their best behavior or acting like lunatics. Reza and Sai (the youngest one) poke at each other a lot which leaves Bee and I playing referee a good portion of the time. Since there are so many of us, all outings have to be on the low key side and even then, can still feel like a production. Pair it with a resounding IN THREE LANGUAGES…. English, Spanish and Japanese? You can imagine.

Liz was here for about a week and we had the opportunity to have a “girls only” day at Revel to hit the spa and have dinner at Amada. It was so necessary to have a little escape that didn’t involve kids and before the parents arrived. My father could just not understand or fathom why we did either of it so we didn’t want to deal with the 20 questions. This is the one and only shot of all three of us. In hindsight I haven’t taken nearly as many photos as I should be but carting the camera while wrangling kids can prove tedious. Besides, some moments need to be savored far more than they need to be documented.

Josh, Bee and I went to see Sigur Ros and it was nothing short of absolutely brilliant and perfect. Worth every penny and thankfully the weather gods delivered for the outdoor venue. The fact we weren’t sporting a case of swamp ass and the mosquitoes were at bay was an extra bonus.

The rest of the trip has just been outings up the street, to Philly to walk around and anywhere the train can take us. It has been low key in that sense. That many people and one car makes things a little harder to plan but Bee, Josh and I have been managing making things work.

Bee and I haven’t had as much one on one time as we would like. Kids and parents who are vying for her attention makes things difficult. Thankfully Josh is awesome enough to be on kid detail to let us escape here and there to go do sister stuff. The other night we took off to see the new Wes Anderson movie, Moonrise Kingdom. She loves his films and never had the opportunity to see one on the big screen. A massive storm rolled in that night and while we were at the movies, we walked out to an absolute downpour of raining sideways proportions. My umbrella didn’t help us much as we ran through the parking lot, huddled under it, laughing our asses off. We got into the car with soaked asses and proceeded to laugh even more. So far that moment has been the best memory of her visit.

Family vacations can be rewarding but there is just so much going on, I wonder if anyone is really enjoying themselves. My father is absolutely bored here and it shows. Honestly I haven’t heard him say one nice thing about anything. I wish I could do more but I told them there isn’t much to do here and even if we do do things, he complains a lot, especially about the cost of things, or the food sucks, it’s too far, etc. To be honest he and I have been butting heads most of the time. I have my ways and he is very set in his. I get the whole “they’re your parents” and the “they’re getting old” part, I get that! But I have never been a people pleaser that does things just to get their approval or nod. My father seems to have purposely been making offhand, off color and inappropriate comments about things in an effort to get a rise out of me and I, like the hotheaded person I am, have been falling for it which has only made things worse. Comments about Josh and I having more children, comments about religion and how it’s a shame Reza isn’t going to catholic school…. these are two things we are very firm on and no one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to coerce us into either. All he talks about are numbers, the cost of shit, how much it is in pesos and my personal favorite, arguing about things he knows absolutely nothing about. It sucks cause his age has only become more apparent this visit and I feel like a shithead for being angry or annoyed at things when in retrospect, their time here is so little.

One thing Bee and I have absolutely put our foot down on, this is the last time we do this whole “everyone piles into one house vacation” for quite some time. We have our own family units, we both love to travel abroad and as much as we love to see one another and our parents, we need US time. Thankfully we agree on this cause we already are getting the “you need to come to Mexico next summer” comments. No way or how. Sorry!

Let’s see, what else?

I finally got fitted for a bra and let me tell you, when that woman said “F” I about shit a brick. Big tits are so overrated. Thankfully I scored on a great deal on a new tit harness that lifts and separates better than Moses did to the Red Sea. AHHHHHHHHH! I am trying not to fret cause as the weight comes off, the boobs go with it. I can’t handle being so top heavy.

Before the family came, I got to spend another weekend with Griselda and I got into an exchange of words with some gross Joizey broad in the movie theater. She pitched an absolute fit when I asked her to put her phone away cause she was texting in my face. “EXUCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!!!”, then proceeded to call me a bitch. Girl blew up and I was furious, I seriously wanted to dump my water bottle on her crispy, forever 21 clad, bathed in far too much designer impostor perfume ass. But then I thought about my having to call my husband from jail…

“Josh? hi… uh, yeah… I assaulted some broad while we were watching Magic Mike. Can you come get me?”

If I am going to get hauled away by the po po it isn’t going to be while watching a cheezy movie about male strippers. And yes, I went to see it… sometimes mindless entertainment where men are objectified for once is totally necessary.

On a whole other note, Josh and I scored a ridiculous deal on airfare and well, we are San Diego bound this Fall. I already booked hair appointments and another sitting on my sleeve. We need to see our people! Praise jeebus! let the Mexican food floweth in my moutheth. Not before I spend a month busting my ass at the gym and on the bike cause it is not easy being good with your diet with a house load of people. oof!

This weekend will be all about relaxing, quiet time, catching up on emails, cards, phone calls…. necessary.

How are you?

*****
the rest of the photos can be viewed over on the flickr set

jumbalaya

I am having another one of “those moments” where I catch myself having a bunch of random thoughts and I am not going to go to the effort of gluing it all together into a seamless post so here, enjoy a nice post of paragraphs that don’t flow into each other.

I have noticed I have become a total image hoarder and my phone is about the reach the 2k mark. 4+ gigs of photos is obscene. I need to be better about removing them and sharing cause not everyone is on instagram and then again, not all of them make it there anyway.

The other day I bought myself a small bunch of peonies. I am a sucker for fresh flowers in the house, always have been. It got me to thinking about how a lot of people always hope or expect them from other people. One thing I learned in my early 20’s was to never expect nice things to be given to you. If you want something, get it for yourself. There’s a lot to be said for rewarding yourself with something as simple as a fresh bouquet of flowers.

The other day Josh and I took Reza for her first arcade experience. To say she had a blast was an understatement. Hilarity ensued when she realized she cannot drive a bumper car very well. This is the thing, Reza is an overachiever. If she doesn’t get it right on the first try she gives up or wants to. We just kept cheering her on from the sidelines and she eventually got it. The fact her face went from zero to “I got this shit” was the best part. There were also lots of skee ball games and tickets. You go to trade them in and honestly it’s nothing but a bunch of junk but man was she proud of her sunglasses.

Target has been a flurry of beautiful patterns these days. You know how it is, you roll in needing some toilet paper, body wash and laundry detergent. $100 later you have amassed a cartload of shit you didn’t realize you needed. Not sure what I am going to do with 10 rolls of paper tape but I could not resist the pretty patterns and price. Washi tape is my newest crack and for those of you who have received mail from me in the past few weeks, you have seen it.

Summer arrived in a full blown force of the 90 degree kind a couple days ago. Reza and I have been holed up in the AC for the most part but I am trying to get her out as much as I can. It’s just so damn swampy! 95+ and humidity? Talk about making anyone cranky. Paired with massive PMS and I am Queen Pissy of Cranky Island. We have been making trips over to the community pool which happens to be within walking distance. She gets her splash on, I people watch. No one really talks to me but that’s ok. I am already going through my first sunburn thanks to not enough sunblock. It’s interesting how the seasons just switch here from one day to the next. BAM! SUMMER! All of a sudden you want some italian ice and cool, fresh food. We have been enjoying the emergence of fireflies and I can hear the cicadas! I didn’t think we would have them this year but it looks like I was wrong.

Speaking of food, I made this BLT Corn Salad that Joy The Baker posted the other day and it was PERFECT. Just the right flavor profile for a Summer day. Thumbs up from me! Her whole blog is a thumbs up and if you haven’t seen it yet, it is a must just for the food porn alone.

Reza started up at a new pre-school for the summer, just to keep her busy and socialized. She does so well with adjustment. Putting her in a pre-k environment since she was 2 was the best thing we could have done for her, shit, why lie, for us too. Kids getting dropped off are having meltdowns and Reza runs off and gives me the “you can go now” look. Kindergarten is going to be a breeze. We walk her there and will be to her K as well. How suburbia that everything is within walking distance.

Father’s day came and went. Reza and I woke Josh up bearing gifts of mustache clad pint glasses, lucha libre socks and a much needed replacement for his straight razor that got stolen many moons ago. The rest of the day entailed having brunch with Dr B who moved here from San Diego as well, and Josh dorking out the rest of the weekend on Mass Effect or some malarkey like that. We are so lucky to have such an awesome Husband/Dad. Sometimes I wonder if he really knows just how good he is.

I got a much needed haircut yesterday and even though I have been growing it out I decided to lop off a healthy chunk of length cause honestly? It was looking like shit. I had seen brooms look better! So off went a good 1.5 -2″ and it satiated the itch to just cut it all off. I miss my short hair but I am not quite ready to remove it all and if I do, it will probably be when I go back to San Diego in the Fall.

Been back on the eating healthy tip but that is a whole other post I am not ready to write just yet.

I am very much looking forward to Griselda’s visit next week. I haven’t had any decent lady time since Tania in October and man, it will be so nice to have her in our home. I need this on so many levels and she will also be a nice warm up to the family coming later on in July.

I will openly admit that I am turning into a total hippie. I admit it! I have been doing oil cleanses and have absolutely loved the results of using natural oils on my face. Us old people need the moisture! I’ll be 38 this November, need to keep that business looking fresh yo!

My shop had a nice flux of orders the first couple of days but it has dwindled in the past week. I got more stuff I want to make and list but with Reza being home much more now, I have to choose my time wisely.

One thing I have really been working on with Reza is teaching her about being open and complimentary to others. Many times I see her looking at people’s clothes, hair and in many cases she tells me how she likes them. I have always been the kind of person to tell a complete stranger something nice, from a comment about their hair, make-up, shoes… flattery goes such a long way after all. In turn, I have encouraged her to tell people these things if anything to help her with her social confidence, not to mention that it is just nice to be that kind of person. I have explained to her that there are people that never get compliments or they could be having a really bad day and hearing something nice can turn their whole day around, that she has the power and ability to change outlooks in others by one simple comment.

The other day we were leaving Whole Foods, she was a couple steps behind me, I heard her say something to a young girl. Curiosity got the best of me and I asked the girl what Reza said to her and she said, “she told me I looked pretty today” with a big shit eating grin. She was radiating really. I told Reza that was really awesome of her and if she noticed how something so simple could make people smile. She was so proud of herself and in turn, I felt like I stepped up to the next belt of my mothering life. It feels great when you KNOW you are teaching them the right way to be and in turn it is helping cement so much of who they are going to become later on in life.

By the way, watching your man shave with a straight razor is fucking SEXY. The gift that keeps on giving right there. Oh yes.

*****
more recent photos on flickr