I tossed salad and wrote about it

You must think I am nuts for sitting here writing a post when I am knee deep in move central. I totally am a glutton for punishment amongst other things. Case in point? I am trying to write this post AND set up internet service at the new place in CA. (I can’t even with these people). Phone tree after phone tree…. oy.

The other day I had a hankering for a salad. There are many memorable salads and sadly one of the ones I used to love was the Mexican Caesar salad they had at El Torito. I should lose my Mexican card for even admitting that one but hey, even the best of us slum it. I know I do!

It has been ages since I went there but I remember that salad dressing. I decided I would shoot for that flavor profile with my next experiment in salad tossing. Not that kind of ‘salad tossing’ cochinos. This is a rated R zone, sometimes NC-17. But I applaud your filthy mind for going there.

Look at this business!

If you are one of those people who think cilantro tastes like soap, I will tell you now, save the next few minutes of your reading life by skipping this post cause this is ALL ABOUT cilantro and if you hate it, well I can’t do anything for you here.

This dressing has been an absolute plate cleaner in this house. I cannot get enough of it and I think I have perfected its awesomeness so now I share it with you.

Creamy Cilantro Pepita Salad

Dressing:
4 loosely packed cups of cilantro
1/4 cup of toasted pepitas (shelled pumpkin seeds for you gabachos)
4-5 garlic cloves (pressed)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (I’m sorry but EVOO sounds stupid)
juice from 1 lime to taste (I just noticed that the lime looks so sorry ass)
1/8 tsp of honey or agave syrup
1/4 cup of plain yogurt (optional if you don’t do dairy/creamy)
1/2 tsp of ground cumin
1/4 tsp chile ancho powder (or more, or less depending on your heat tolerance)
pinch of salt

How to: throw it all in the food processor and let it rip! I toasted my pepitas in the oven for a tap because it brings up the flavor a notch. The dressing itself is a tap acidic which is why I added the agave. Paired with the sweetness of the corn, it balances out perfectly. This is what it should look like… a pesto like consistency, if you want it thinner, add more olive oil.

For your salad:
3/4 can of black beans, washed and rinsed
1-2 ears of fire roasted corn (I did mine stove top)
4-5 green onions, white and green ends
4-5 tbsp of cotija cheese
organic baby greens and/or spring mix lettuce

Garnishes:
Pico de gallo
Avocado
blue or white corn chips
extra pepitas
grilled chicken/pollo asado, if that’s your thing.

I know. This sounds like the quinoa dish I posted the other day and it truly is. The difference? The dressing, which pretty much makes this whole dish even share worthy… I just want to roll around in it.. and gross. Why did I even go there?

Toss it all in a huge salad bowl, garnish and bring the magic to your mouth.

Arriba, orale, andale!

*~fiesta~*

Back in April, Josh decided he was going to throw me a curve ball: “Baby, I am going to make an attempt at a more vegetarian diet”. Oy. Now, I don’t mind the idea of it, in fact I have been on the same kick with him. Well, except for that awesome cheeseburger itch I deliciously scratched. The curve part is that when you grow up a carnivore for 38 years, you think and act like one… and you certainly cook like one.

I will admit that this whole process has been a little more challenging than I thought when it comes to kitchen time. Most of my dishes revolved around a protein. I said if we were going to do this, we weren’t going to go the way of all that processed crap pretending to be meat, so there goes one option. Then trying to avoid falling in the vegetarian, boobie trap pitfall of bread, pasta and cheese everything? There go more options.

So I was expressing my woes to a friend about needing new ideas, dishes, suggestions. Now, girlfriend knows her way around the kitchen and she sprung this fantastic idea on me:

“This is what you do, take some quinoa, add some black beans, cumin, fire roasted corn… you get the idea. It’s awesome.”

And she was not fucking kidding.

Of course I love to tweak and add stuff to my liking and resulted with this mess in a bowl. What is it? I hate naming dishes. Mexi Style Quinoa? Dude, my people would revoke my Mexican card with this hippie chow. Fiesta Bowl? Isn’t that some NFL shit? Whatever. Mexican Style Kitchen Sink Quinoa? No.

So here you go, nameless wonder dish. Mexi Quinoa Surprise, lol…

Ingredients:
1 cup quinoa (uncooked measurement)
2 cups fire roasted corn (I used the frozen kind from Trader Joes – I lazy and the good corn isn’t in season yet)
1 can black beans, washed and drained
2-3 green onions – white and green parts
1 cup of grape or cherry tomatoes, diced (optional)
juice of 1- 1.5 limes
chopped cilantro to taste
1 tbsp olive oil
1/4 – 1/2 tsp of ground cumin
1/4 – 1/2 tsp of ancho chile powder (more or less depending on your kick tolerance)
Salt & freshly cracked pepper to taste

Topping options:
Cotija cheese
Sour cream
Avocado
Pico De Gallo (optional or can be used to replace the tomatoes)
Grilled chicken is also an option should you want to protein/bulk it up.

So how do you make this goodness? This is the best part. All of the add ons can be tweaked in measurement. It’s a personal preference and you can find a good balance, your mouth will tell you where to go with it. You can’t really mess this shit up.

So you cook your quinoa. I make it in the rice cooker cause it’s fast. While it is cooking, sauté your corn with some olive oil in a pan, set aside. If you’re going to fire roast your own, do that first and then cut it off. The reason I sauté it was to thaw it.

While you wait for the quinoa to cook, cut up your herbs (Heh, I said “herb”), tomatoes (if you’re using them), onions, etc.

Then you toss all this whatnot in a bowl and you’re good to go. I know right? Sounds savage. This recipe makes enough for 3 people and there will be leftovers. You can eat warm, hot, room temp or cold. It’s very filling.

Pro Tip: DO NOT toss the avocado in the bowl, use it as a garnish only unless you plan on eating it all that evening. If not the leftovers will get that pasty brown ‘cado of doom and your leftovers are ruined.

Enjoy!

turkey chipotle chili

I will be the first to admit it, I thought cooking with the crock pot was for lazy people. In fact, I never even owned one cause I thought it would be an insult to my stove slaving ancestors. But then one Christmas I opened up a box to a rice cooker (that I really wanted) that also doubled as a slow cooker. GASP! I see what you did right there Josh, trying to make me into one of those broads. *shakes fist*

Then something happened: we had a kid. Oh shit. All of a sudden, kitchen time isn’t as readily available and I am finding ways to make tasty food while not being in said kitchen for hours at a time. You chop up some stuff, a dash of seasoning, add your favorite protein and hollah! I know, I know… I shouldn’t call you lazy cause it really isn’t… Ok, you win universe. I admit defeat and the error of my ways, I am a crock pot bitch.

Trying to watch your diet during Winter sucks balls. You want thick, hearty, creamy, starchy… all of those words end up straight on your ass. No joke. So I know I can make some chili and at least a couple of those words will be in it and yet maybe there will be less thick on my ass. I know the husband would never complain about creamy thighs. But before this takes a one way ticket to Erotic City, let’s get to the food yeah? Ok.

Here is what you’re gonna need!


( meatses not shown to spare the non-carnivorous)

Chipotle Chili

1 lb ground turkey (or chicken, or beef – your call. I made turkey)
1 medium white onion
4-5 garlic cloves (freshly pressed)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 14-15 oz can black beans (drained)
2 15 oz cans of tomatoes (diced or whole)
1-2 tbsp of ground chipotle powder (depending on how much kick you want)
1 tsp chili powder *optional for more kick if needed
1/2 tbsp of ground cumin
1 pinch or 2 of all spice
1/4 tsp of paprika (I used smoked spicy paprika – it’s thee shiz)
salt & pepper to taste
splash of beer *optional

garnish options: grated cheddar and jack, sour cream, green onion, cilantro… etc.

1. Chop up your onion, press your garlic and cook on the stove along with the olive oil for a couple minutes.

(Note: I don’t know why these recipes you look up tell you to use onion and garlic powder – that’s BS. Use fresh, it’s better!)

2. Add your meatses of choice, break it up and make sure it’s cooked through.

3. Pulse the tomatoes in a food processor or blender. You want them still a little chunky so don’t get all ninja on them cause if not you’ll end up with soup.

4. Combine ALL OF IT in the slow cooker and let it fly!

I leave mine in at a minimum of 5 hours but you can milk it more. If you see it looking too dry, add a splash of broth or even better, beer. A good porter or IPA will do. None of this Budweiser shit.

I like my chili more con carne than con frijoles. If you want to bulk this up add another can of beans. I cut it back… it’s a self preservation thing you see? Can’t wake up all hot boxed at the hand of the husband. Also, careful with the salt and chili powders. Flavors intensify in the slow cooker so if you want to play those by ear and add as it cooks, totally up to you. This has a kick for sure.

After the slow cooker does its wonderful business, serve with your chili toppings of choice: sour cream, green onion, chopped cilantro, cheddar, cheddar jack, more hot sauce if you want a case of ‘ring of fire’. You know what I mean.

Yes. The best part? If you have leftovers they’re even better the next day.

puff pastry with brie

Here’s a little something I whipped up for Thanksgiving. I decided to hold off on sharing this… can you blame me? After the Sin In A Bowl I posted earlier, I don’t think anyone wanted to look at more food. That’s the beauty of food based holidays though. The day after you’re looking for crazy cleanses, swearing off food, going to the gym in hopes that Aunt Ginny’s marshmallowy yams will unglue from your intestine. Did I really use the word “intestine” in a food post? Fuck yeah I did, it all goes there anyway. Just calling it how it is man.

A week later you’re back to trolling Pinterest for the next great thing to wow with. Look no further!

This is a perfect appetizer for a gathering, delicious and a guaranteed plate cleaner unless the people you hang out with hate cheese and fungi. Heathens.

Puff Pastry of Awesome

Here is what you will need…

1 box puff pastry sheets (I used 2 sheets on this one)
1 triangle of your fav brie of choice
fresh leek
2 handfuls of chanterelle mushrooms (or oyster)
1 granny smith apple or pear
1 egg white for egg wash (optional)
drizzle of white truffle oil
freshly cracked pepper

Got your stuff? Cool… Let’s make this happen.

First off, slice your fruit. I used pear in this case but the apple is just as tasty. Totally your call, either way you won’t jack this up. Play fruit ninja on the mandolin slicer. The slices should be very thin. (Get yourself a mandolin, trust me. You will be amazed how much time you save)

Julienne slice your leek.

Now, about the mushrooms…. 1) I live in Jersey. 2) I was last minute shopping on Thanksgiving week… so you can imagine my finding the right fungi was not available to me. I was not about to rack my brain and risk suicide in the Wegman’s parking lot to find them so I made due with some oyster/shitake mix cause there were not enough oyster. Chanterelles are the #1 choice here but those bitches are expensive! If not, go oyster all the way. Lightly sauté them in a pan, add cracked pepper and set aside.

Let’s put it together…

On a baking sheet you layer the items as goes…
pastry sheet
fruit (pear or apple)
cut up the brie in pieces and spread out over entire sheet, leaving an edge
mushrooms
leek
add cracked pepper
drizzle white truffle oil
brush egg white on all the edges to give a shiny, crusty edge (optional)

Done! You’re ready to pop into the oven. Temperature should be as indicated on your puff pastry package. This is what your baby should look like…

Bake till your puff pastry has risen and has a nice golden tan. This bakes relatively quick and keep in mind it is best served warm and fresh out of the oven. Speaking of fresh out of the oven, get a load of this beauty…

Hell yeah. Cut it up in squares and let your guests go to town. This particular serving went straight to a party and swooped up in light speed which is why I have no better photos.

It is a veritable explosion of delight in your mouth. See what I did there? Oh yeah.

a guest post: holiday hooch

A few years ago, around Christmastime, I walked into one of the local San Diego watering holes, intent on some tap-side deliciousness because Christmas beers are where it’s at, you Philistines, and in that town you have a literal shit ton of badassery to choose from.

There was really no reason to use that phrase, “you Philistines”, but in the spirit of my daughter saying inappropriate and incorrect comments, I’m leaving it there. Like Daughter, Like Father.

Anyway, so we stroll in to this joint (which will remain nameless because they actually sell what you’re about to see and I don’t want to get some lame Cease and Desist order that arises out of one someone googling that shit on the internet.)

Anyway, so we stroll in to this joint and Styles tells me, “Dude. Have you had the Holiday Bourbon?”, and while I’m intrigued, I blew it off ’cause I was on a mission for some St. Bernardus Christmas Ale. He, however, created a monster when he asked me to take a moment, here at the beginning of the evening, and just try a bit. If I don’t like it, I can revert to the classics, but just give it a shot god dammit.

Yeah, I liked it.

I liked it so much, that’s all I drank that night. Literally all night. They had maybe a bottle or so left and I think between the two of us Tom and I polished off most of, if not the rest of that batch. SO SO SO delicious!

Not only was I left with the obvious hangover, but with the burning desire to replicate this greatness on my own. It can’t be that hard, I reason, thinking that if someone else can infuse that shit, why can’t I? But it’s not good enough to create my own concoction. No. One must rip off someone else to justify the total endeavor, thus beginning my hunger and yearning for the recipe for Unnamed Bar’s Holiday Bourbon.

Fast forward to last fall, when The Sheriff came to town for some goodtimes visiting. We got to talking about the Holiday Bourbon, because she not only frequents the establishment which sells the greatness, but she knows the bartenders pretty well. We got to shenaniganizing and determined that if she could get me the recipe, I could probably make this shit with some pretty simple ingredients.

Voila! A conspiracy was born!

True to form, Tania fulfills her end of the bargain and ends up drunk-texting me the recipe – from the bar! – after badgering the shit out of her hookup. Well played, Nefarious Sheriff! Grow a goatee soon so you can be Evil Sheriff!

What you’re about to witness is the contents and production of this text, this holy document, electronically seething with delicious badassery.
______

Ingredients:

1. Bourbon: One 750ml size bottle.

You don’t want to use a Bourbon that’s too expensive because, in reality, you’re corrupting and ruining the original flavor. If it’s a great liquor, don’t jack it up. If it’s a $30 to $40 bottle of Buffalo Trace or Knob Creek or some boutique name of some sort, jack away.

2. Apples. One or Two Large Apples per bottle. (Go with two, just to be safe. I recommend this.)

All ingredients are key, but this one is the lynchpin of the flavor profile. Without the right apples, you’re going to get flavorless gruel. I recommend a VERY sweet apple type, like Honey Crisp or Fuji apples, but I’m sure a nice sweet/tart green apple would be awesome, too, I just haven’t tried it yet. The key is to get an apple that has a very powerful flavor. None of this Red Delicious bullshit, ’cause that’s not going to do you a bit of good.

3. Vanilla Bean Pods. Four full-length pods per bottle.

If you can, buy Organic Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla. Someone explain to me why they’re called Bourbon Vanilla. Is that because it’s meant to go in Bourbon? I THINK SO!

4. Cinnamon Sticks: Four long sticks per bottle. (Note: Start with less and then taste test as you go. Some cinnamon can be stronger and too much will ruin your batch… if you feel it needs more later on, add another stick and so forth)

Again, if the cinnamon sticks are stale, your shit is going to taste shitty. So avoid the old ones in your grandma’s pantry and go to Whole Foods to pick up some good ones. It’s worth it. Listen, the cinnamon can ultimately make the taste go metallic and you don’t want that: if you’re going to try to impress your friends with your Evil Scientist ways, making sure it doesn’t taste like Lead and Sadness is a good way to go.


Ah, how pretty! (Ingredient ratio not to quantity.)

The easiest part of the process is putting all the business together. The worst? THE WAIT. Lamesauce.

However! It’s worth it. So here’s what you do:

1. Get yourself a resealable jar from the Container Store. You’ll also need a vessel in which to put your Deliciousness, so I’d recommend a 750 ml glass flask or some other decanter. Not including the fact that you want all of your ingredients submerged in the Bourbon, you’re going to eventually make more of this shit, so I’d recommend working with a larger size jar.

2. Slice the apples VERY THIN and put them in the jar. Better yet, get yourself a mandolin and just slice the damned things over the jar and directly into the container. You want the juices. Don’t forget to core your apples, kiddies! We don’t want seeds and poison in our hooch, now!

3. Using cooking scissors, cut the ends from your Vanilla Bean pods directly into the jar which is now full of thinly sliced apples. Now, cut the pods themselves lengthwise so they’re split down the center. You can either place them directly into the jar or cut them in half – your call. If you have a smaller jar, cut the pods; you need them to stay submerged in the liquid the entire time.

4. Using brute force and manliness, break the cinnamon sticks in half while growling and/or grunting. This will make you feel awesome while handling such a non-manly ingredient. Place the broken halves into the jar. Continue grunting. Pelvic thrusts are also appropriate.

YOUR JAR SHOULD NOW CONTAIN:

Sliced Apples, Dissected Vanilla Bean Pods, and Manly-Like Snapped Cinnamon Sticks.

Now!

4. Pour the jar of pure, unadulterated Bourbon into the jar, over the ingredients already contained therein. The first time you do this, you may become wistful. The second time you do this, you will rejoice, for you know what’s coming. It’s very much like Buttsex in this way.

5. VIGOROUSLY Shake the Concoction Jar THREE TIMES DAILY for TWO WEEKS. None of this swishing around crap – that helps no one. Grab the jar and shake that bitch like the neighbor’s yappy little dog. Protip: Have the jar waiting for your wife when she opens the shower curtain. 😀


Your pre-straining goo, complete with Straining Tools. The smell is going to kick you in the face.

Typical gestation time is TWO WEEKS, but I’d recommend a tasting after 10 days. For me, cinnamon is a strong flavor and I’m not too keen on a super cinnammony flavor, so I ended up pulling half of mine out around that time. But it’s up to you. If you’re digging the flavor profile, leave it in for another four days and…


Get it now?

Strain that shit into a Flask of Outright Majesty!

Ghetto Setup Straining Tools:

1. Mesh Coffee Strainer.

Yeah, make sure you clean this out nicely. Coffee flavor won’t go with this so well.

2. Funnel.

Funnels are just cool. Getting to use one for legitimate purposes is even cooler.

Regardless of what tools you end up using, just make sure you have a very fine strainer: during the infusion process, you’re going to have a bunch of vanilla flecks from the bean pods and shake from the cinnamon sticks and you don’t want that business in your glass at the end of the evening.

The Carnage and the Glory

You have one other option here, which is to press the liquid out of the Apple Slices and into the flasks/bottles. The first batch did not include this procedure but the second time was Ivonne’s idea. The apples absorb a lot of the bourbon and we can’t waste it now, can’t we? With the compression, you get a bit of sediment that forms in the bottom of your flasks. If you don’t mind that, awesome. I think it adds a bit more flavor, so I just shake the bottle before I serve myself.

As for serving suggestions, it all depends on whether you like your shit cold or not. Personally, this flavor is BADASS when it’s cold outside and the Bourbon is room temp, giving you that extra sensation of Innard Warming. Depending on the apples you use, it can be sweet, so an ice cube wouldn’t be terrible. However! I tried this with two Whiskey Stones the other day and LOVED IT. So yeah, experiment with temperature, but feel free to drink it straight – my preferred method – or get your loved ones loaded by spiking their Hot Apple Cider with a splash of this jimmy, ’cause that’ll fuck ’em right up.

So what’s next?

For this particular concoction, I think a small – SMALL – amount of clove would be pretty cool, so I’m going to try that with my next batch. Cloves are rough, ’cause if you overdo it, the entire batch could be ruined. At an approximate total cost of $60 per batch, that would be very lame.

But what else do you think would work? Maybe some orange rinds to give it a true Hot Spiced Cider flavor? We’ll see!

Finally, as you spend this winter sitting cozily in front of the fire, sipping the Nectar of God’s Own Teat, thank Tania. Without her nagging and badgering, we’d never have this fine moment together.

Happy Holidays!

*******
Note from Ivonne….
When he’s not at work or pretending to not watch me while I am getting dressed, Josh can be found over on his blog www.hotchunkysalsa.com, which really needs to get dusted off.
*hint hint*

Return Of The Mac

“Oh please… after the epic food coma(s) from the past few days the last thing I need to see are blog posts about food..”. Yes, I know you’re thinking it. Such are the days when you’re invited to someone else’s Thanksgiving feast cause they know you have no one in this god forsaken land. I love to cook and as much as I like to host, a feast for 3 just isn’t going to happen, especially when the third party doesn’t want to eat anything I make. With that said, we took up the invite to partake elsewhere.

If there is one thing I do know, is that no matter how small the gesture, you NEVER show up empty handed to a party or gathering. EVER. If you’re one of those people, shame on you. My Mother taught me better, thank you very much.

Now, when it comes to Thanksgiving I like to make non-traditional items. I don’t believe in the whole cranberry sauce, stuffing, candied yams formula of the days of yore. If it’s your thing, more power to you. I like to switch it up, bring in new or revamped dishes… explosions in the mouth if you will.

One can never go wrong with a good mac n’ cheese. Everyone loves it, well except for the lactose intolerant. Sorry! This post is not for you.

The other day my friend Michelle and I were salivating over bacon mac n’ cheese and it was decided that it’s what I would be bringing. Oh, did I say BACON? Fear not oh hippies and non-meat eaters alike, this recipe is for you as well, you can omit the swine if you like. Me? Bring on that delicious salty goodness. So after doing some reading over several recipes, I decided to kinda Dr. up my own version and came up with panko crusted, white truffle, bacon mac n’ cheese. “Did she just say truffle?”… Why yes, I just did.

Panko Crusted White Truffle Bacon Mac n’ Cheese (holler!)

So here is what you will need:

pasta of your choice. I used small elbows
1 tbsp butter (unsalted)
2-3 cloves of garlic
1-2 pints of heavy whipping cream (1 pint per 1/2 lb of pasta)
cheese:
1/2 cup cheddar (grated)
1/2 cup gruyere (grated) 1 cup fontina (grated) (fantastically stanky!)
1 tbsp pecorino-romano (grated or that powdery kind in the photo)
panko bread crumbs (or broken up seasoned croutons if you desire)
2 tbsp white truffle oil (or less, or more depending on how you like it)
salt & cracked pepper to taste

optional: thick cut, applewood smoked bacon

Step One: boil your pasta

Step Two: (if you are making the vegetarian option, skip this part)
While your pasta is cooking, you cook the bacon. I really like that “ends and pieces” package from Trader Joes cause you can pull off all the good stuff and chuck all the fatty whatnot… it has a lot of it too. I keep a tap for flavor but the rest goes. Chop it up and set it aside.

Step Three: The sauce.

Before you start this part make sure you have all your cheese grated and the pasta is ready to go.

This is where the sinful magic happens. Over medium heat, melt the butter and add the garlic cloves that have been freshly pressed. Infuse the butter with the garlic for a little and then add the cream. Add freshly cracked pepper to taste. Constantly stirring! Bring to a boil.

Add the truffle oil. Careful with this part cause depending on the brand of oil you are using, some are stronger than others… The one I used was not as potent in the funk. I also made a double portion so this took 2 tbsp. I would start with a 1/2 tbsp and work your way up till it tastes the range you would like it to.

Step Four: Add the cheese! Make sure you save some of the shreds for the top of the mac.

Step Five: Stir in the pasta. This is where you come into play… balance out the pasta to sauce ratio. If the sauce is too runny, add more cheese… if it is too dry, add a splash of cream or milk. Keep in mind that when this sits in the oven (later) it will probably thicken up.

Salt to taste. Keep in mind if you are adding bacon you may want to hold off a little cause the bacon adds a salty flavor with it. Add bacon, stir and…

Step Six: Transfer to oven safe dish. I made one large portion but you can also make little ramekins to serve as individual sides. Add sprinkles of grated cheese and bacon to the top, then cover with a layer of panko crust.

Step Seven: Broil that shiz! Put it in the oven broiler and do not walk away cause this can go south really fast. Broil till you get a delicious, golden brown crust.

Done! Trust me when I say this is sin in a dish…. rich, decadent and will blow your mind. It was a total hit!

hippie shit: peanut butter & banana smoothie

I have been riding the Breakfast Smoothie Express for about 3 months now and have totally been enjoying it. Redundant at times but tasty nonetheless. Reza is on board as long as I make hers a special way but Josh? Now that takes a little more convincing.

I always offer a smoothie and a lot of the times he turns me down. Sometimes within reason cause carting that business on the train can be a game of russian roulette. One spill or shove and it’s going to work looking like he puked on himself and we cannot have that. He curses my “hippie shit” cause I use alternative products, powders, supplements etc.

This morning he was in the shower and I offered him a peanut butter and banana smoothie. Sopping wet, still caked in shampoo, he looks at me like I am asking him to eat pureed eggs. He hates eggs with an unholy passion.

“How about this… I make it, you taste it and you tell me if you want it or not”. “Ok”.

I find great hilarity in the fact all of our pint glasses have beer logos and I drink my hippie shit in them. Nothing says ‘healthy’ like a blueberry smoothie in a Miller High Life glass. Derailing, I found that glass at an antique store. Josh is a total craft beer snob and I thought it would be funny to get him a glass for a beer that is the alcoholic equivalent of bottled urine. There were two and the other was given to Spencer. Josh and Spencer like to bond over skype with a beer and their matching pint glasses. Yes, total bromace.

Back to the story…

I take the pB & banana smoothie over to him and he takes a sip…

“Does it have hippie shit in it?”
“No”
*sips*
“It’s pretty tasty”
“So if it is pretty tasty why would it matter if it has hippie shit in it?!”

He liked it. I win. A temporary victory because not even 1o minutes later he desecrated the left over meatloaf by slopping it in a quesadilla, with an habanero tortilla no less. Yes, I am shaking my head as well. Damn white boy and his concoctions. Do your husbands do this shit? Mine does.

And on to the recipe…

.Peanut Butter & Banana Smoothie.
1 frozen banana – frozen is key!
1 tbsp of your peanut butter of choice. I used organic, creamy, unsweetened
(you really don’t need more sweetener, the banana is enough sugar – trust me)
1 scoop of vanilla whey protein powder
unsweetened vanilla almond milk

And don’t ask me about calories. They’re not low I will tell you that much but of you want a milkshake taste without all that kinda sin, this is the way to roll.

You want one now, I know you do.