fill in the blank friday

1. The best surprise ever would be, my closest friends all showing up on my doorstep. I would weep for days.

2. The day Josh and I got married is my most favorite memory. Although, picking one is just not cool cause I have had a lot of really awesome moments in my life. Our engagement and the day Reza popped out would shortly follow.

3. The hardest, but most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done was go through pregnancy. Talk about a physical upheaval. Giving up your body for the sake of another person is one of the most selfless things I have ever done.

4. The best part of my day is getting in bed after a nice shower, kid asleep.

5. Something I like that most people don’t is/are hair metal bands and funny meats like tripe and tongue.

6. Something I am willing to fight for is Reza’s happiness and my marriage. Dude, you fuck with either one of them and you will regret the day you did.

7. Something you might not know about me is I studied piano as a kid and gave it up, played on the soccer team at school after my femur fracture (talk about resiliency), have only lived in 3 cities my entire life, have an innie and own a lot more socks than underwear.

******
in case you want to play along

fill in the blank friday

1. My bedtime routine includes, getting Reza ready for bed (when it’s my turn), shower & hygiene ritual, moisturizer across the board (face, lips, body), lay in bed with Josh (which entails him reading, me on my phone or us fucking), catch up on my iCrack till I fall asleep.

2. I am: doing my best to get back on track, painting like a crazy woman, having a love/hate relationship with this podunk fucking state, missing my friends.

3. I can’t stand the smell of cigarette/cigars because of obvious reasons. Take your cancer cloud elsewhere.

4. My idea of relaxation would be a spa day which I will soon be getting cause Josh got me one for our anniversary. DUDE!

5. If I had an extra $50, I would take it to Paper Source and go to to town on pretty papers for crafting up cards and stuff.

6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is you get to see sides of them that you may not usually see in person. That is if they blog from the heart…

7. A recipe I’ve been dying to try is this. Cheezy quinoa cakes with lemon aioli.

*****
in case you want to play along

I just came to say hello

Man! You people really like free shit don’t you?! Pushing up to 50 comments already. Hey, don’t get me wrong here, totally flattered that you would want one of my little doodles. I guess it is one of those things with me. I never see my stuff like everyone else does. People say my art is cute/good and all I see are uneventful doodles. Sad isn’t it? Decades of self confidence do that to you but on the other hand, I am ok with it cause it keeps me humble. There is nothing more off putting than someone who thinks their shit don’t stink and that just isn’t how I roll. Humility goes a longer way than arrogance.

I got some ideas in the pipe but nothing I am ready to put here. But I am feeling the surge and I have to entertain it. Who knows when this river is going to dry up ya know?

So what else is going on in this part of the world?

Josh’s schedule is normalizing and we are all very thankful for it. Having him around is key for our balance. The other day he had the best and much needed day: haircut, lunch at his favorite beer bar in Philly, went record shopping, the Blues made the playoffs and he got laid… all in the same day! Well deserved too.

Reza has been sassy as all shit but growing up into a really awesome person. She’s too smart for her own good and witty as all fuck. Case in point…

This was all her doing too. I just helped her with sounding out the words so she could spell them. I love the fact she feels like she can.

Nena is Nena. Old, senile, pees everywhere that she shouldn’t be peeing. It is driving me insane.

Judas + Gomez are… well, cats. Sleep, eat, take stinking shits, snuggle with each other. They’re awesome even if they are up at crazy hours of the night making a ruckus.

I have been dealing with some crippling sciatic pain the past couple of days. I am trying to not let it get to me but I have come to the conclusion that my body will always be a Judas to my spirit and I have to figure out who is gonna win that battle. I have no idea how people get addicted to pain killers. I caved for 1/2 a pill yesterday and that shit made me feel terrible. I still feel gross, like I am on a narcotic hangover of epic proportions.

I have been painting a lot of little watercolor whatnot and if you follow me on facebook or instagram you would probably see more of that. Fear not, you don’t have to have an instagram account to spy in. Here, I will make it easy for you.

I don’t get people who are a jack of all creative trades. When one sleeps the other is awake. I can’t do it all at the same time. Case in point, I haven’t touched my camera much as of late. I have tried but it just doesn’t feel as natural to me at the moment. It will come back, not worried about that part. I do have a metric fuckton of photos on my phone though. I need to do a phone dump post here very soon.

Oh! And a friend of mine encouraged me to enter a contest on Spoonflower which somehow pushed me into the idea of textile design. What the hell right? It’s foreign but right up my alley. So I made a print of watercolored moths. Wanna see it? here she is!. Order it, make stuff with it and send me photos! Will there be more? Absolutely. Darker stuff, skulls, Halloween, Day of The Dead prints? Who knows. If you got any requests I am all ears.

Our plans shifted a little cause Uncle Sam fucked us in the butt with no lube. Word to the wise, don’t touch your 401k unless you absolutely have to. We did cause we had to and boy did we get an anal reaming from the government. And they didn’t even make us breakfast. Those pricks.

I miss San Diego people a lot these days. It’s hard to connect with people here. There are gems amongst all these UGG and legging wearing turds but you gotta look and hard. I will get there but I cannot say I don’t miss my people. I truly do. And some people I don’t miss at all. I miss a carne asada burrito more than you. Mmmmm…. meat. Hopefully we can make a jaunt back in the Fall.

Thankfully the Summer will be an array of visitors… Brett & Gayle, Griselda, my parents and the Japanese extension which will be here for three weeks. I cannot wait to see some familiar faces around these parts.

And on to the blank filling….

1. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is, pee. Or let out the dog who woke me up cause she needs to pee. Whole lot of peeing.

2. I can hardly wait for the cicadas to start their buzzing, for my sister Bee to get here from Japan… two years without seeing my sister just isn’t cool, the farmers markets starting back up, the moment we pay off the IRS (assholes), Josh to come home tonight, for my buttock to stop throbbing – stupid sciatica. I need an ass massage. ASS RUBBING.

3. The quickest way to my heart is paying attention to the little things, leaving me alone and knowing when is a good time and when it really isn’t. Oh, and chocolate always works too. Props to those of you who have figured that one out.

4. A little known fact about me is that I love music, I used to work a real bonafide serial killer, I have no shame in admitting my prior indiscretions, I like tacos, I hate sticking my hand in the garbage disposal with an unholy passion, I try to live happily, love fiercely, and cross me and you will regret the day you did. 😀

5. The best part about my job is that I get the time to do some of the things I enjoy all while spending time with the nugget. Being an at home mom has its challenges but then I think about strangers showing my littles everything and I don’t regret it one bit.

6. Something I just couldn’t live without is facial moisturizer. gotta keep that skin lookin’ good y’all.

7. Something useful that I wish I knew how to do is sew, make Indian food and have multiple orgasms. Wouldn’t that be the shit? Hey, just being honest…

fill in the blank friday

It has been a bit since I did one of these. I forget about it… sometimes I forget about posting instead of posting one liners on facebook. I really need to be better about that.

1. Today is a great day because Josh took the day off and gets a three day weekend. In fact he is sleeping in as we speak. After all the working he has been doing, he deserves it.

2. Tomorrow I will be taking the girl to a birthday party and hanging out with the family.

3. My favorite time of day is the evening because we are all home together.

4. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses with people, even if it hurts.

5. A song that I just can’t get enough of lately is “We are young” by Fun.

6. My favorite accessory is my wedding ring, I feel naked without it.

7. My favorite thing about this week was going to Philly with Reza.

and some of the previous questions I missed…

8. My greatest strength is my honesty.

9. My greatest weakness is procrastination. I start a lot of things I don’t finish.

10. People always compliment me on on my handwriting. I won’t lie, it is pretty nice.

11. If you found me procrastinating you’d probably find me playing with my phone or wasting time on Pinterest.

12. The most cozy place in all the world is under my fuzzy blankets

13. Something new that I tried recently was making smoothies with sweet potato. SO GOOD.

*****
in case you want to play along

fill in the blank friday

1. My favorite room in my home is a very close tie between the kitchen and the attic studio/guest room. I think the attic wins.

2. My current decor style is different for every room. I like clean lines, statement pieces. I have no desire to make my place look sterile and over decorated.

3. I wish I could redecorate our bedroom. It’s the one room that has had no love since we moved in. Spring/Summer project for sure cause it needs a paint job like whoa.

4. My dream house absolutely has to have a Japanese style bathroom. If not we will gut it and make one.

5. One house item I am willing to splurge on is a bed. We spend enough time in it, that mattress better be awesome.

6. A decor trend that I just don’t “get” is Santa Fe shit. I can’t stand it.

7. Photos on the walls and fridge are/is a little touch that makes my house feel like home

******

And yes, I realize that this post is lame and I should really write a real update. I’ll get there Spencer. 😉

fill in the blank friday saturday

(the collage from my livejournal page that has been my first blog since 2001, posts from here still go there)

1. I started my blog because I have always been an opinionated person. I needed an outlet to put things out there and I happened to stumble on livejournal and the rest is history. To be honest I didn’t think anyone would really read my stuff but I picked up (and kept) quite a few friends from the mix.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs attractive visuals, good writing, posts of complete and total honesty… the good, the bad, the heartbreaking. There is a lot to be said about being able to drop the guard and show vulnerability.

3. Something I love about blogging is that it has really opened the doors to getting to know some pretty amazing people. Without my blog/e-presence I probably would have never met or known some of the awesome people that I know all over the world.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably when I finally mustered up the courage to post a photo of my post baby tummy. It was so liberating to get that off my back and the response it mustered on and offline was not what I expected. Again, the whole vulnerability thing… I showed a side of me that people had never seen and it turn it was met with positivity. If you are curious you can read it here.

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I’ve never before mentioned on my blog is anything that goes on behind the scenes between Josh and I. Josh and I have a very harmonious home life, we communicate extremely well, we are very much in love and functional. Despite these things there are moments where we find ourselves out of sync, miscommunicate and have very rare spats. I don’t believe in airing out dirty laundry on the web for a number of reasons, not because I am trying to paint this picture perfect scenario of my marriage, more because I have the deepest amount of respect for Josh and what we have… and if we have beef of any kind I am not putting it out there to be the fodder of others. But, I talk to my friends about things cause an outside perspective can always help you view things from a different angle.

6. My new favorite blogs to read are not so new: Spencer (when he posts), Josh (who has cobwebs on his), The Crave List by my girl Dinah, Alice, Haute Macabre, Coilhouse, Papercrave and The Black Apple.

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are graphic details about my sex life, money, politics, religion and some topics pertaining to Josh (see #5^)

*****
in case you want to play along

fill in the blank friday / introspection

1. If money wasn’t an issue, the first thing I’d cross of my life list is spending a year traveling all over the world. Considering all responsibilities aside of course.

2. Ketchup on eggs, floppy undercooked bacon and pancakes, beef tongue and 80’s hair metal are things I like that other people think are weird. (I tend to like a lot of odd whatnot)

3. If my life were a movie right now, the title would be “Eat, Clean, Sleep”

4. Three things I am looking forward to this month are the possibility of my ankle pain improving, the massage appointment I need to make and more date nights with my husband.

5. My favorite song to sing in the shower is “I follow rivers” by Lykke Li, this changes often but I only do it when I am home alone cause I am not very good. Living with someone who has perfect pitch isn’t good on the singing confidence.

6. If I found out that the production of Clinique’s Black Honey lipstick was ending this month,I’d go out and buy as much as I could tomorrow.

7. One thing I’ll never grow tired of is Josh. He always has a way to make me laugh, make things better, he is pretty much my favorite person on the planet.

*****

I have been a little on the quiet side cause honestly, I have been really irritable. Everyone and everything annoys the living shit out of me. You can thank facebook for that. Now, I have no room to complain about something that is totally controllable and self inflicted, yes, I know. I need to take a step back from it cause all it is doing is make me hate people… not everyone mind you, cause I have my handfuls of favorite people who really do no wrong. But that other 85%? Holy shizzz… hide, hide, hide. It’s hard for me to step away cause I have no friends, I miss MY friends and since they are scattered all over the damn planet, fb is the best way to engage with them. So damned if I do, damned if I don’t. One thing I do know, if all you post about is god, jesus, politics, religion, your dietary habits and every detail about your workouts on a daily basis, rest assured you made it to the hide list.

Last week was all over the place cause I was under the weather, Reza was sick and I didn’t get very much time to myself or with Josh for that matter. Paired with doing the one car shuffle and Josh working a lot? Fuchin. I wanted to go to the gym but when you feel like you have a sack of potatoes stuffed in your uterus, well, not very conducive. Yes, TMI. I started going to physical therapy for my ankle. I just wish it would fucking get better already cause I need to be more active but I am on a “no impact of any kind” moratorium from the Dr. and a sistah needs to lose weight and I am not going to starve myself and crash diet to make it happen.

I did have a small window to go get some therapy in the form of the antique store. I love going there, popping on my headphones and rummaging through for some gold. I did find some more photos to add to my wall of creepy in the kitchen and all for a whopping $6. SCORE!

So anyway, back to funky space I have been in. I have several friends going through some seriously heavy shit. I won’t get into details about who or what but lets just say it’s the kind of stuff that really makes you think about yourself, where YOU are, your mortality and how you have managed to be so lucky. Pair that with a gut wrenching episode of Grey’s Anatomy and I was a blubbering mess, crying and being so thankful I had no sugary treats in the house cause they would have been devoured stat! It’s hard not be affected by what is going on with those around you, even moreso when there is nothing you can say or do to make it any better. Helplessness is one of the worst feelings in the world. At what point do you take a step back in order to preserve your own frame of mind? It makes me feel selfish as fuck but only I know how much I can and cannot handle and as much as I like to be loving and supportive, I have to stop in order to take care of myself.

Feeling alone is a blessing and a curse. On one hand it gives you time to figure things out on the other hand you end up over thinking and overanalyzing. This whole being a stay at home mom business can be very overrated. There I said it. You have all these super moms on the internet making it look like it’s the most rewarding job on the planet. What they don’t tell you is how thankless and mundane it can be. It isn’t all standing around the kitchen, laughing while licking cookie dough off spoons yo. It’s the same thing every day, the routine, the schedule and the never ending cycle of errands, laundry and house cleaning. This is my life right now and as grateful I am that I have the opportunity to be so involved with taking care of Reza and being home, I won’t lie and say I don’t envy those who have careers, do work they love, who have the ability to feel intellectually stimulated by social exchange with likeminded individuals. I miss it and realistically I don’t see this changing anytime soon, at least not until Reza hits 1st grade.

Welcome to my reality.

fill in the blank friday

Since this edition is about travel, I thought I would include one of my favorite “travel” photos. That black speck on the bottom is me doing what I call “the coffee cake dance” at the base of Himeji Castle, Japan. 2005.

1. My favorite place i’ve ever traveled to is Japan. Never in my life have I seen such a perfect blend of tradition and modern. I am dying to go back

2. Paris is somewhere I’d love to go someday.

3. I pass the time on a plane (or bus, or car ride or train) by playing games on my phone or listening to music. I wish I could sleep.

4. My three must-haves when I travel are my iPhone, iPod and camera. There is no way I would ever check my camera bag. No chance in hell.

5. My favorite travel companion is dependent on where I am going. Certain places suit certain people.

6. The craziest thing that ever happened to me while traveling is a tie between the great ankle injury in Japan and when Josh got chased by monkeys in Bali resulting in a sprained ankle. What is it with us and feet?

7. The most exotic food I’ve ever tried while traveling is a multiple course meal of different parts of unagi (eel). I was not prepared for the innards on a skewer. I pussied out on the raw horse… in hindsight I should have tried it, I am sure it would probably have been better than the eel whatnot.

8. If I could live anywhere else, I’d live in Japan, Paris, Barcelona. AKA nowhere in this country.

9. I have been to 10 states in the U.S. (CA, NV, OR, WA, ID, LA, NC, NJ, PA, NY) – where I actually have been, airport layovers don’t count.

******
in case you want to play along

fill in the blank friday & an overdue update

1. The last thing I ate was some oatmeal from Starbucks. I really should eat something else by now, it’s lunch time yo!

2. The last song I listened to was “The Walk” by Mayer Hawthorne. I love the way he says “shady fuckin’ attitude”… as I was typing this though, it is now “A Sky Full Of Clouds” by Winterlight

3. Using the letters in my name I can spell (Ivonne) – In, on, vein, vine, ion, one. All good ones.

4. If I had to dress in one color for the rest of my life I would pick black. I pretty much do this most of the time already.

5. If you were to look in my bag right now you’d find… Let us look shall we? Thankfully I just purged it a few days ago if not there would be lots of receipts and loose change.

Top row: house keys, Eos lip balm in Lemon Drop, Mac Cosmetics Lip Gelée in Moistly (now discontinued, those bastards!), Clinique lip gloss in Black Honey that really needs replacing, Kiehls Facial Fuel eye de-puffer, hair clip

Bottom Row: replacement Tokidoki wallet, Advil, Pilot pen, Contact Cold & Flu, key to the Volvo, hair tie, iPhone and headphones.

Curious kitty was not in my purse.

6. When I finish filling in the blanks I’m going to go take a piss and fix myself a taco salad.

7. My all time favorite song to dance to is After Every Party I Die by Sneaker Pimps. Really now… such a sexy track.

******

So what else is going on in my world? Here we go…

I finally decided to get my ass back on the damp-heat diet that the Tibetan Dr. put me on. Here I am 5 days later and I feel INFINITELY better. I may not have lost any weight but just the removal of bread, gluten, dairy is night and day. My body just cannot handle them. Tis a shame cause I love me some baked goods but if I want to be a shape other than round I need to lay off. I also signed up for a gym here and am gonna try to hit it at least 3 times a week for now.

Speaking of the gym, I went yesterday for the first time and let me tell you… gym in NJ vs the gym in SoCal is a huge difference. It’s more comfortable cause it isn’t full of beautiful, perfectly chiseled people. Takes a lot of pressure off people like me.

Tom was out here last weekend and it was really cool to show him around and stuff him full of tasty local eats. He really seemed to like it here.

My husband? Working like a mad man but being challenged and really liking his job.

I picked up a Q&A 5 year journal and have been really enjoying it. Unlike the Sketch A Day Journal that I kinda ditched cause of the whole moving process. I need to pick it back up. I am waiting to get a book I ordered in the mail, The Letters Of Frida Kahlo: Cartas Apasionadas. Very much looking forward to it.

Josh and I have been seriously considering canceling our cable. We never watch tv and feel like it is money going to waste. Most of the stuff we watch is on Netflix, iPad, Hulu, etc. but then I think about Game of Thrones starting up in April and I know it would suck not watching it. It’s an interesting conundrum but the fact we have SERIOUSLY cut down on television time is such a good thing.

Reza? She has been such an interesting kid as of late. Vocal, wordy and extremely inquisitive about everything. We have been working on implementing a reward system with her cause she really needs it. The other day I busted her lying to me and if there is something I cannot stand are liars. I told her that I am more mad about the lie than what she did to cover up with said lie. On another occasion I asked her if she did something, and knowing she would get in trouble for it, she admitted she did it. She followed it with, “Mom, it felt good to be honest and tell the truth”. Every day is a learning curve.

Her report card came in and she was mostly Excellent and Good. There are a couple things we need to work on like her address, phone number, shoe tying… and of course there were comments about her talking too much. I am not worried about it cause I defy anyone to tell me they have a quiet 5 year old.

I am just finding out that the school we are zoned for has a half day kindergarten program. 8:30a – 11 am / 5 days a week. Is this shit fucking normal?? What do 18-20 kids in ONE class learn in 2.5 hours? It’s either that or fork out a ridiculous amount of cash on private school. Also, I find out that if we choose to put her in a non-resident school we have to pay for it regardless if it is public. And I am not putting her in a god squad school. What is this ass backwards shit? It is times like this I am lamenting her acceptance to the language immersion school that she was going to attend before we moved.

The kittens… ah man. I am thoroughly enjoying their company even if my ass and leg have been used as a climbing post already. Gomez, who sometimes I call Whiskerton, is definitely the more playful and mischievous of the two. Judas really likes Josh, Gomez lets Reza play with him more than me. He hangs out in the bookcases a lot.

When they are not playing, they are sleeping. They do a lot of snuggling, it is pretty damn cute too. Really!

They are adjusting really well to everything. I did however introduce Judas to Nena and wow… she went from zero to Halloween kitty in 2 seconds flat. She. Was. Pissed. We are keeping them upstairs for now cause they’re still too small for canine introductions even if Nena is the size of a football.

Overall, things here are as well as they can be… there are a few things that have room for improvement, mostly my headspace but I am conscientious of those things that need changing. Now the question is, will I follow through?

fill in the blank friday

1. New Years is a time for a clean slate.

2. One of my New Year’s resolutions will be to spend less time being grouchy and stressed out, unsubscribe from email lists from websites I never shop from, stop reading posts from people who really are annoying as fuck

3. A New Year’s resolution I’ve made in the past was to lose weight (who hasn’t?!). You see how well that worked out. heh.

4. The most time consuming resolution I ever made was See #3, it is always an ongoing thing here.

5. This year I will be spending New Year’s Eve in bed, more than likely asleep. NYE is amateur night and I don’t care much for being out around a bunch of drunk people, much less on the road with possible drunk drivers. That shit scares me.

6. If I could wish one thing for my new year it would be that no one dies. Our family lost four this past year alone, two of which really hurt. My fragile heart cannot handle more emotional imbalances like that, at least not for a bit. I need some healing time.

7. 2012 is going to be interesting. I am not going into it with any expectancies/goals/pressures. One day at a time… there will be plenty of adventures that is for sure. The rest I hold to fate and see where the ride takes me.

*****
in case you want to play along