It is so fucking beautiful outside. I can’t. Actually, I can. I’m ready for real Spring, not this crazy weather bone throwing of 70 in the middle of Winter whatnot. Butterflies, breezes and bees. I’m ready.

Josh took off to Kansas City to see his family yesterday. He went into the tundra, forgot his shampoo and will regret passing on the wool socks I offered. Beehive balls are imminent my friend. My voice of “te dije” will linger for the remainder of his trip. That’s “I told you so” in Spanish for those of you non-Spanish speakers. I miss having him around but the break is also necessary – a time to connect with his people and space from the crazy that is living with two opinionated women. The patience this man has comes in spades. Plus, I am enjoying some quiet, alone time. I need it

So he is gone, Reza FINALLY went back to school after what seemed like the longest break EVAR and now I am sitting here with my thumb in my butt (well, not literally) wondering what to do with all the time I have on my hands. I have plans mind you, I am just taking the time to breathe and reset. I had some changes take place with me that have kind of made me feel like I took a massive step back on the path of emotional progress. The brain is a tricky place and when you’re fucking with chemistry it can fool you into believing all kinds of shit that just isn’t true. I am so eternally grateful for the legs that hold my table up, a constant reminder that I’m loved and that this is only temporary.

I’ve cleaned the house all morning like a crazy person, gearing up to clear some space for new artwork. I can’t deal with having a crusty house while trying to produce. It makes me really uneasy and I have a lot of work to produce over the next few months. So here’s to hoping the muse sits on my face and gives me no recourse but to handle her business. Emotional upheaval while having to make artwork is a blessing and a curse but considering some of my favorite pieces I have made came from deeply personal places, well, I can only hope it works in my favor once more.

That said, I need to get back to it.



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