Who’s Your Daddy?


Do you know how hard it is to find a good “Father’s Day card for my Husband” these days? Holy shit. You roll up to the section and it’s a sea of  every shade of blue. Things like: “To My Dear Hubby” (vomit), beer, golf, fishing or even worse, jokes alluding to how well trained I have you, or how I grateful I am you’re around because things would never get done without your helping fix things, mow the lawn or unclog drains. Really. Nothing says “Happy Father’s Day!” like being thanked for taking out the garbage. It’s a sad state of affairs. Any jackass can mow a stupid lawn or crack open a beer. Not sure how that constitutes being a good Father but somewhere the staff at American Greetings and Hallmark are on drugs or are really running out of ideas.

You see, almost 9 years ago your epic sperm destroyed my egg wall. It was a pretty bad round of drunk, Valentine’s Day sex, too! I am so glad we can look back and laugh about that one cause it was sloppy and sad. Yet, despite that hot mess, the egg destruction brought forth an amazing child and because of her you can add “someone’s Father” to your resume of adventures. But it is what came after that really counts… the unconditional love, being there, catch playing, bike riding teaching, the mustache sticker wearing, the sopping of little girl tears on your shoulder, showing up, the discussions about the ways of the world and how to conquer it. Now that is the kind of shit makes you a Dad. It has nothing to do with lawn mowing, grilling meats in the back yard or your personal hobbies. None whatsoever.

Let’s get real here. Not anyone can be a good Dad. The word “Dad” is thrown around about as much as a ball at a baseball game and truth be told, not everyone deserves it. It takes a lot of work, attention, self sacrifice, patience. Lots and lots of patience which you seem to be the king of. (You can add “Josh, King Of Patience Island ” to your resume too). This Dadding business takes a stand up and solid kind of man. And I don’t mean that in a “bearded, ball scratching, farts in his sleep and takes 20 minute shits” kind of man either.

These card making assholes got it all kinds of wrong.

There is no ruler on this Earth that could measure just how immensely you are loved, respected and appreciated. You’re not my Daddy, but you’re Reza’s and you’re really damn good at it. She is one of the lucky ones to have someone like you to look up to.

So Happy Father’s Day to you Josh. Today is your day to chill, pat yourself on the back and do nothing but you…. ok, and me if you’re down. *wink*