Comments on: about “realness”

By: Tina C.

Tina C. — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:00:25 +0000

First off THANK YOU! Speaking as one of the skinny chicks (5’3″ and 105lbs after having a kid) I get sick of the judgment just as much as any one else (fat, thin, tall, short, black, white or purple with green spots) – and yes, I have insecurities just like any other woman (being told you look like a boy with boobs really helps self esteem; so does people constantly telling you that if your boobs/butt/nose/teeth/whatever were only bigger/smaller you’d be pretty). I have trouble finding clothes that fit me (I have to shop in the juniors’ department or be willing/able to pay $200/pants or $75/tops – looking professional when wearing forever21 clothing doesn’t really work so well), not to mention the near impossibility of finding maternity clothes in true xs/0-2 (many brands carry xs, but they fit like a 4-6 instead of 0-2).

I have friends who I literally cannot talk about food or clothing with. I can not ever complain that I can’t find clothes that fit, because they roll their eyes and say things like ‘yeah, it’s so hard being thin.’ If I eat something fattening they complain that I’m so lucky that I can eat whatever I want; if I eat something they consider “diet food” (i.e. salad or a small portion of something) they make snarky comments that I need to eat a cheeseburger, or say it’s no wonder I’m so thin since I obviously don’t eat.

Being judged by other women hurts, no matter if you’re too tall, too heavy, too short, too thin…too whatever.

As a side note…the ideal body type in the 19-teens through the early-to-mid 1930-ies was very boyish and thin. In fact, if you look through the history of clothing, body types go in and out of fashion. So I suppose the answer to the riddle ‘when did this [skinny body] become hotter than this [curvy body]’ would be on and off for centuries, just like curvy bodies.

Sorry so long. Thank you for writing this.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 04:20:14 +0000

Love this comment! I agree, I really do my best to avoid any comments about anyone’s weight, whether they are stick thin or a bigger person like me. I realize people that are naturally skinny may be just as unhappy with that as people who are naturally not-so-skinny. It makes my skin crawl when people comment on how thin someone is and how they wish they were that thin.

By: Avery

Avery — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:51:01 +0000

We are actually the same size! I’m just taller. I made peace with the fact that I’ll probably never see a single digit size again a long time ago. I ride the bus almost everyday and I see so many beautiful people of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages that will never believe in how beautiful they are. It makes me sad. There is so much money to be made by making us all feel bad about ourselves so most media focuses on sex appeal…even for toddlers!

I agree about the skinny snark. It’s just as damaging and unfailr. I’ve seen thin girls respond to posts like this with genuine hurt over being made to feel that they aren’t ‘real women’. I strongly dislike statements like ‘real mothers just know’. And politicians who pander to ‘real Americans’. It’s divisive and only serves incite conflict.

By: Albertine

Albertine — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:15:51 +0000

God, we are so in the same freaking page, it’s ridiculous.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:56:19 +0000

Thank you for this. For the longest time I was one of those “thin” girls, now that I’ve had kids and gotten a bit older, I’ve added some weight, but that’s besides the point.

For the longest time I couldn’t get my weight over 125 lbs and being 5’9″ that lead to all sorts of comments about having some sort of eating disorder, needing to eat a cheeseburger or 5, that I was going to blow away if a strong wind came along, etc. I’ve pretty much heard them all.

I also always get the “I must be so great to be so skinny to be able to eat what you want”, line. Let me tell you it’s not all fun and roses having a metabolism that is in hyper-drive most of the time. I *have* to eat a balanced diet and eat constantly or my blood sugar drops or I end up on the anemic end of the scale which causes a laundry list of problems.

People need to realize that both ends of the spectrum have issues with maintaining or fighting weight and other things and really it’s what is inside that makes them a real person not whether or not they have “curves” or “more or even less cushion for he pushin’”

By: Ivonne

Ivonne — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:09:21 +0000

I love you woman.

By: Ivonne

Ivonne — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:08:48 +0000

link to your article?

By: ariel

ariel — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:05:36 +0000

Hehehe. There was a compare/contrast meme like this about “real men” and they put Robert Pattinson up against Clint Eastwood & I wrote a very similar article deconstructing our images of masculinity. I’m very much not a fan of all these “better than” things. It’s a horrible way to view your life & other people.

By: Dinah

Dinah — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:00:35 +0000

As a large woman myself, that whole “real women have curves” has always sounded like this to me:

“We’re jealous of all you thin girls, so we’re gonna start this little slogan to make our fat asses feel superior.”

I do not subscribe to that shit at all. Also, we need to take notes from men who have no problem walking around naked and unashamed even when they look like George Costanza. Why should they have all the confidence?

By: Tracey White

Tracey White — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:58:17 +0000

There’s so much wrong with that photo. For starters, the top row are candid shots, the bottom are made up and posed and angled. Secondly, if you check out the measurements of these women, they’re NOT that far off from each other. But all of that aside, you’re right, every woman is real, no matter what her size. Body shaming isn’t cool, period.