So here we go… A list of things that are currently on my “grates my ass” list. I am going to put these here before I blow up on someone. I mean, a lot of people already think I am a bitch anyway, might as well.

  • food blogs with really shitty, unappetizing photos of said food
  • bow tattoos on the back of the legs
  • people who fish for compliments and toot their own horn on a consistent basis. Modesty and humility are far more attractive than you pulling your own chain. Unless you’re Johnny Depp and I get to watch.
  • anyone and anything using Charlie Sheen lingo
  • the weather that won’t decide whether it wants to be warm or cold
  • facebook and the “if you blah blah blah, then post this in your feed if you… [insert cause, illness, political rant]” meme crap.
  • when people think I can’t see what they are doing
  • hipster cliches
  • people who feel the need to disclaim their dietary choices. I don’t care if it’s veggie, vegan, gluten free, made out of unicorn feces. It’s food, it makes *you* happy however you have it, what everyone else thinks about it should not be your concern. Unless you’re looking for a pat on the back.
  • parents who refer to their kids as “cute” in every single thing they say about them
  • the way facebook has facilitated learning things about people I like and not in a good way.

See a pattern here? A lot of this is stuff stems from interaction or exposure on facebook. Man if this isn’t a sign I need to taper off from it I dunno what is. So I have a few possible solutions here…

1. get off facebook
2. go on a massive hiding spree of the repeat offenders
3. let shit slide off by back and not be so effin delicate, I can always use it for more blog content and ranty tweets.

Hmmmmm….

 

9 Responses to failsauce

  1. I am so with you on the food disclaimers. “I’m eating vegan mouse balls with glucous free spunk mayo!” Just say you’re having mouseballs and spunk mayo. You’re not impressing anyone, and you don’t get demerits in public opinion if you don’t clarify that your lunch was cruelty free. Nobody cares.

  2. Tami says:

    “facebook and the “if you blah blah blah, then post this in your feed if you… [insert cause, illness, political rant]” meme crap”

    This. OMG this. I can’t handle this shit anymore….drives me up the fucking wall.

  3. Spencer says:

    “3. let shit slide off by back and not be so effin delicate, I can always use it for more blog content and ranty tweets.”

    This.

  4. diana says:

    omg are we related?!

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