reza documentation

The latest….

The humidifier is “the smoke machine”.
Ambulance = the quambulance

She has been talking about zombies a lot thanks to this game at school and on Josh’s iPad. She said she wants to be a zombie for Halloween. But then again she also said she wanted to be a pigeon.

She talks about herself in the first person.

She has been trying to work the angle of manipulation. When she wants something she starts with, “Mommy? I LOVE YOU”, I love you too baby, then she promptly says, “Can I have [insert candy/popsicle/food item here]”. Sorry kid, it isn’t going to work.

She is currently obsessed with wanting to wear the same pair of black leggings that have a little butterfly on them. Every morning it’s me looking for “the butterfly pants” and then promptly fighting with her to get her to wear something that is clean.

She kicks our asses on Wii bowling. Girl threw over a 200 the other night.

Not sure how this happened but she hit another growth spurt. We measured her and she is currently 3′ 6.5″. Ridiculous.

We are at a point where we have to really watch what we say/do around her. Josh can’t play his “shoot me up” games on PS3 when she is around anymore cause she has been talking about killing a lot lately. I don’t like her using words like “kill”, “hate”, “stupid” or “idiot”. I know that some are not the BAD words but I just don’t care to hear her talk like that.

We have been very encouraging on teaching her how to read. She knows all her letters and sounds they make, she struggles on putting the sounds together but she is really doing well with it.

I bought her some nail biting sauce and have been using it in hopes she stops. She hasn’t been doing it as much but not sure what she does at school. Now if I could get her to stop picking at her ass and having her hand in her underwear….

She is going through a serious motor mouth phase. I love that she asks so many questions but man, sometimes Josh and I are at wits end with the constant talking. The other night she kept going at it and it drove both Josh and I to snap at her at the exact same time, with the exact same words. She promptly turns around, waves her hands at us and says, “One at a time please”. Josh and I had to hide the laughter.

We took her to Build A Bear for the first time. She had so much fun, she chose a wolf and named him Fro. Not sure where that came from but I guess he is right at home with Mercy the polar bear.

Her friend Elliott had a Jedi training academy birthday party and she got to fight Darth Vader (Mike!) and ever since then she is all about Darth Vader. Atta girl, come to the Dark Side.

Songs she loves right now:
Daft Punk – Around The World
Katy Perry – California Girls, she calls it “the popsicle song”
Cee-Lo Green/Jack Black – Kung Fu Fighting

She is all about Johnny Test, My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. She has been singing “Brand New Day” a lot. For you people who grew up in the 80’s like me, this will give you a nice ole flashback….

freebie friday

I finally got my small stash of Kozys and well, I am sharing the love. What do you get? Everything in the photo: a kozy, button and sticker. That’s it. I am not gonna make you jump through hoops here, it’s not like I am giving away an Alaskan Cruise. It is just a small little something.

Think about it, you get to roll in to your favorite coffee establishment and pass on their cardboard sleeve for something much prettier cause lets face it, cardboard is so not in the now, felt is the new black ese.

What do you need to do? Comment to this entry, that’s it. Say something nice, just your name and if you want to add anything interesting to the comment and I mean, anything… then have at it. I could use some serious entertaining considering I am holed up trying to get better. Anecdotes and weird things in your head are welcome.

I will have a randomizer choose a winner on Monday. Winner will be announced then.

Oh and if you want to “like” my facebook page I won’t complain.

ready, set, go!

*** giveaway is now closed ***

of mythology, snot and such

I really am starting to believe that the universe is punishing me. You know that scene in Clash Of The Titans where Zeus picks up the clay figure of Perseus and leaves him in the arena in Joppa? That’s how I feel right now. I think some greater force of nature dropped my clay figure in a child’s’ play pen and I am being tossed around cause here I am, sick, AGAIN.

Can’t a girl catch a break? So when I am not supporting the over the counter pharmaceutical industry, I am coughing to the point of vomit cause I gag easily or I am up inspecting the Rorschach paintings I am making into a tissue. SEXY. It is hard to focus when your brain is melting into your sinus cavities and you have more chemicals than a meth lab in your body. I *hate* having to take medicine but it’s either be a slave to the pills or be even more dysfunctional and well, my family won’t be having that. It’s bad enough they’re living with a person that resembles the lovechild of The Grinch and Calibos, rolling in snot. Picture this if you will. I would say I look like that too but I did manage to get a much needed dye job today despite my ailments, cause well, I won’t be looking like one of The Henna Sister Latinas, with dark roots. Getting your hairz did proper always helps the self esteem department.

So, universe, I am going to pull a psycho-girlfriend on you and tell you the the 4 words dudes just *love* to hear: We need to talk. There are things this girl wants to do but needs her health to do them. You know of which I speak, so, for the love of god and everything that is holy (which can be many things depending on who you ask), can I be 100% again? Shit, I will take 95% or anything after. Pretty please, with sugar on top? Please don’t make me resort to the sad kitteh eyes.

Hopefully when my health decides to make an appearance, I can focus on things like cleansing out all this crap I have been putting into my body. Maybe I will go get a colonic. I was just reminded of this today reading one of my favorite blogs, Joy The Baker and it has been far too long. Shit, if you’re lucky I will blog about it in great detail, pun intended. I am comfortable with my poop chute and why not, we are talking about a chick who is married to the guy who has photos of his colonoscopy results in his facebook profile photos after all.

I also got a lead on an amazing Tibetan medicine man and no, I am not joking. Clearly Western medicine isn’t getting me very far, I mean look at me, I am up at 3:30 a.m., writing whacked out posts about mucus and mythology. Only I, hopped up on Theraflu, can find a correlation between the two.

Subsequently, my Greek mythos references are in regards to the original and only Clash Of The Titans film as far as I am concerned. That recent remake was an atrocity cause not only did they diss on Bubo The Owl but they took two awesome actors like Liam Neeson and Ray Fiennes and clowned them. They can hide behind their Greek God Beards Of Shame, but Bubo? How dare you diss Bubo.

search term hilarity

I have a stat tracker on my blog. I could care less about people who want to be stalkeriffic and read my business. It is public after all, I cannot complain that people are reading it. It kinda defeats the purpose yeah? If anything the part I like the best is to see the search terms people use that bring them to my blog page. I have seen some pretty funny ones like many different takes on “aztec warrior holding dead lady”, but the past few days had a nice collection of the WTF-ery and yes, I am sharing them with you.

a proud moment

There comes a time in your career as a parent that your kid does things that rock your world. So far a few of those moments have been when she spoke for the first time, that day she took her first steps before turning 10 months old, when she realized keys open doors and then there is this…

Josh somehow mentioned the word “skeleton” which turned into her asking him to draw one. So Josh told her to grab a couple crayons, he got the paper and proceeded to draw a skeleton for her (in blue). She then proceeds to use his drawing as reference and then drew the one on the left with no help.

As a creative type person, a connoisseur of all things dark & spooky, and a mom, I couldn’t help myself but smile inside from ear to ear. Girl has it, I totally believe she got the creative gene. That’s *our* girl.

On a side note, I really need to dust off some cobwebs here. I know I have been quiet. A lot of it is attributed to my plague relapse. Being sick not only makes me want to do nothing, but also puts me in the shittiest of mental places… and right now, the light in the house is dark. I promise I will open the windows soon.

in where I give up

Josh got home yesterday from what felt like one too many jaunts around the country. It’s all part of the process right now, traveling for interviews. I am about over it as much as he is. Shit, he is ready for something to happen as much as I am. Anyway, he got home last night and I am pretty stoked to have him around. What I am not happy about is the tickle in my throat.

I *just* got over being sick…as you recall, I spent most of the month of January sick as an effin dog. Well, the tickle turned into more lung butter and coughing to the point that I threw up this morning. Goddammit. Enter a ton of expletives right about now. To say I am furious is an understatement. This happened in January… I decide I am gonna get healthy and exercise. I set foot in the gym, a few days later I am sick. Well guess what, it happened, AGAIN.

Now, I would like to think I am a healthy and clean person. I am! But I cannot say the same for other slobs that work out where I do. I do my best to maintain cleanliness, wash my hands after, bathe when I get home… but no, I am sick. AGAIN. How the fuck is someone supposed to work out when you’re getting sick from the cesspool of disease that is 24 hr fitness? Either the universe wants me to be a rollie pollie or I need to change something here….

So I did what any impulsive person would do. I called 24 hr and canceled my 10+ year membership. There was a lot of groveling on their behalf, “what can we do to make it better?”. Nothing yo, the wallet rape vs. value/health isn’t worth it to me. Sending an email to the manager isn’t going to correct the fact that people in general, are effin pigs. Besides, what for, so I can go for a few days, get sick, get better, go back? Rinse and repeat? F that.

That’s it, I am done with their shit. The fact their sales team is bigger than any other portion of staff should tell you something. I may regret it later down the road but I am just tired of picking up crud and bringing it home. I hope this is a short stint and I can get back into the swing of things. It takes so much to get motivated, take the leap and then get physically debilitated to the point you don’t even want to get out of bed.

I am gonna look into a smaller gym nearby, keep going to yoga and think of what I can do at home or outside to compensate. How is a girl supposed to get trim and lose weight when I can’t even stay healthy? Totally ridiculous.

7 deadly sins

PRIDE: things that are great about me

  • My Mexican heritage. Don’t let my pale skin and hot sauce aversion fool you.
  • That I do a lot of things, and do them well.
  • My family. How can one not be proud when you know you did good? Great husband, rad kid. I’m lucky.
  • That I don’t have to do much to my eyebrows for them to look awesome.
  • My hands
  • My handwriting. No, really. If you ever got anything from me, you will agree.
  • mi pinche guacamole.

ENVY: things I lack/covet

  • I wish I was one of those people who can eat what they want and never see it show up on their ass.
  • A stronger sense of stability
  • Those who don’t ever have to worry about finances cause they were born into money.
  • Consistency
  • A more serene sense of being
  • The ability to tune it out
  • Endurance. I seriously am jealous of athletes who run miles on end and enjoy it. Thanks multiple injuries!

WRATH: things that piss me off

  • Pedophiles. Don’t even get me started.
  • When people who are adults act like they’re 12.
  • When I slave over dinner and it doesn’t come out to my standards.
  • People who cannot hold their liquor
  • Shitty drivers
  • Expectancies
  • Blatant disrespect

SLOTH: things I neglect to do (sometimes on purpose)

  • follow through on things
  • making the bed, like, ever.
  • flossing. I do it, just nearly not enough.
  • putting away laundry. At any given time there is a hamper of unfolded whatnot lying around. bad housewife!
  • shaving my legs. Dude, every day? Have you seen the cost of razors!?
  • Ok, so I forget to take the trash out and then am running out at 7 am in a bathrobe. SO?
  • check myself before I wreck myself.

GREED: worldly material desires

  • An endless bank account.
  • A place to call home that I can modify to my liking
  • That said house would have a killer, Japanese style bathroom
  • New camera gear
  • A studio where I can lay out all my art supplies and gear. Creative space is everything.
  • A privately commissioned portrait of my family by a world renowned photographer or painter.
  • Student loan forgiveness.

GLUTTONY: guilty pleasures (that I don’t feel guilty about, for the record)

  • My horrible yet equally awesome taste in music.
  • Running the heater in the car or house on a cold day but having the windows open.
  • Chocolate and if it has salt in it even better.
  • Crappy reality tv. Hey, sometimes you need some trash to tune out with. Nothing like relaxing at the expense of other peoples misery.
  • Putting certain sauces on shit it does not belong on.
  • My affinity for red meat. I don’t eat steak very often but when I do, it is not in ways that make other people comfortable.
  • I like a lot of food undercooked: especially pancakes and bacon

LUST: love/sex secrets (or not so secret)

  • I want to have sex in a moving car. Never had the opportunity.
  • I wish I was multi-orgasmic. Hah! What else is new, doesn’t everyone?
  • Without a doubt, Josh is the only person I have ever been “in love” with. The rest were a bunch of stupid infatuations.
  • I have faked it before… sometimes you just want the dude to stop so you can go to sleep. (and no, not with my husband either. He rules my pantaloons)
  • I lost my V card when I was 17.
  • I am not ashamed to admit that yes, I take care of my own business from time to time.
  • threesomes are seriously overrated and I say this from experience.

~and it’s here~

After much waiting, they are finally going to be ready for order. I know a few of you are all, “hey, I already have one (or more) and I don’t need another one”. That’s cool. I will say this though, a lot of people said that about my Day Of The Dead design and then missed out. The red+black edition will be limited so if you snooze you lose.

So happy with this collaboration, so click the banner to go to their site when the day comes.