I am so awful. So I start this blog and I am all “RAWR! NEW BLOG! I am gonna post more!” and then the Earth swallows me up. Well, not literally, cause duh, I am posting here.
For one, I started back up at the seasonal holiday job doing CSR work. Man have I acquired stories from that one but that is for another post. This post is about my adventures in the land of yoga.
One of the reasons I have gone into total hermit land is cause well, I am sad face. Sad about everything being crappy, sad nothing seems to go right and in doing so, I sit around, mope and do nothing. Well, besides shove tasty shit in my mouth. I love the tasty but food is my drug and rehab is necessary. I refuse to buy a pant size up. Hell to the NO.
Cass has become quite the avid yoga junkie and she and I have been spending a lot of time together as of late. She insists that I should go to her new studio. “I guarantee you that you will lose up to 20 lbs if you come with me 3-4 times a week for the next 2-3 months”. Ok girl, so it’s on.
When you think of yoga, you think hippie chanting, bells, peace, love and grease. Well yes, it is a lot of that but the particular studio we are going to is only one thing: HOT YOGA. “you will sweat like you have never sweat before”, she says. Ok, girl, it is ON. Now, this makes me sound like a total a-hole that doesn’t buy into the spiritual hype that comes from bending yourself into pretzel like positions under extreme heat… I find calm in it, it eases me but it all comes on my terms and when I am ready. I don’t mind the crunch factor.
Class one was last week… so far so good…. nice joint and then we walk into the studio itself and it is like a damn sauna. 95 degrees to be exact. You got to be shitting me. You got to keep in mind I am one of those people that doesn’t sweat very much, even when exercising. I just don’t. Oh lord, was I wrong.
Class one, it’s hot, I am literally dripping, my shirt is glued to my body with it, my heart is pounding in my chest, I am as red as a lobster in boiling water. I am laying there and the sweat is pooled up in my eye sockets, the salt from all the sweat is burning. At one point I felt like I was gonna throw up and/or pass out. Can you imagine? Passing out in a puddle of ones own vomit? HA, don’t tell me if you have, I will lose respect for you.
But to sum it up in one statement: It was a complete and total yoga smack down!! and you want me to do WHAT??!! Crow position? Who the hell are YOU kidding lady? This is level-1 mind you. I passed on crow but I cannot say that I am not envious of the strength it requires to get into that special place.
Last night was class #2 and it was butts to nuts. And look, I know yoga is all about your pace, your experience and what your neighbor does should not concern you. You find the strength in your own experience and practice. But you tell me something, how are you not going to be intimidated when you are the ONLY thick chick in the room that is falling all over herself? When there are gorgeous, sweaty, half naked men in front of you!? Oh ok Mr. Sexy Shirtless Instructor Man, you just tell me not to be intimidated when there is a guy doing a god damned hand stand for minutes, rows up front before class. And no, your sweaty, lean, muscular body isn’t distracting me at all!! Not… one…. bit ;).
It has been interesting to say the least. Between this and the 2 times a week pilates training I have been doing my body is feeling some crazy strength coming into it. My muscles have been taking a serious beating but that soreness is so delicious, I earned that delicious and I can only hope I will show something for it down the road.
So hot yoga… I am not sure if it is a love affair just yet but I feel SO GOOD after class that it is enough for me to keep going back. Getting the toxins out while building strength and leaning out my body? That doesn’t sound like such a bad deal. I need to give it a month before I decide I am a believer in the ways of Sweating To The Drums and Chanting. And if you know me, you know I like to prove a point, cause damned if I am not going to master some of this shit. The challenge is on. The sweat is on… even if I am slipping in a puddle of my own.
Crow here I come.